It has been a long two years since the last post. I have needed these past years to come to terms with several facts and as blog has mostly been my domain and Adam only joining me occasionally it was left unattended.
So what has changed and why now?
This end of June it is three years since we unintentionally returned to Czech. It has been nine years since Adam and I got together and it is shortly going to be six years since we got married. Last year has also brought a new challenge, happiness and awe to our lives as we have become parents and she is already 9 months.
Why am I suddenly writing all this? Why have I not simply wrote it before? Why does it look that I have forgotten to write and now I am trying hard to come with some sort of an excuse. Well this is our blog. It was supposed to be a journal of our cycling travels to South East Asia. It was supposed to be filled with everyday adventures, memories we don’t want to loose and with some reflections to what is happening around. But then we decided not to go on the bike trip and stay in Czech. And for these reasons I couldn’t continue and all crumbled down.
You see the main reason that I suddenly didn’t want to share anything personal was my relationship with my father, respectively the lack of it. We have found ourselves living in Czech and unlike UK this was way too close to him. And I realized that beside the fact that our mutual relationship is not getting any better with time (which is obviously what he hopes) and that I cannot accept his new ways of life and behaviour, I also can’t come to terms with the fact that someone who has been with you most of your life, and you think you know them a bit, suddenly makes a decisions that are not only incomprehensible but that they hurt.
On several moments I thought that I have put this behind or that I have finally dealt with it at least from my point of view. And it was those moments that I have tried to write the blog. Or there where times I found it more important to share it with the rest of my family, friends and few others. I know now that I have still far to go in making myself at peace with my the situation, not even mentioning my father. But I want to try this again, I hope this will be a one way for me to overcome it – in the end that is why I’ve ever written any journal so that I have a place to share the happy, sad, exciting and difficult things in my and our life. Do not worry this is not going to be a blog full of complaints, or sweet baby photos or too much personal details.
But what it is going to be about then? Well I have put in our header “cycling – family – craftiness – everydayness – slow life”. I feel this is for now what moves our days. It is the urge to cycle even now that we are a family of three with youngest member being only 9 months; it is a constant attempt to make all work within our small family as well as the big families we have; it is to improve our new flat, make new toys for M, make things from wood and sew, knit and crochet some clothes or accessories; it is an anthropologist in us that tries to notice the small details of everyday life and then attempts to put everything in a bigger picture and comment on it; and it is the need to live small details of every day thus there is now space for rush.
This blog is starting anew. Beside the whole bunch of stuff that have changed in our lives in these two years I have changed the appearance of this space too. Also our website is currently out of order as we did not feel there is a need to have one beside the blog itself. And so is the photo gallery gone – sadly that is for good but eventually I hope to find a new one. Anew also means I am not going to catch up on the two years break by squeezing it in few retrospective posts. And I will try my best not to have any more posts like this one – explanatory and way to intimate but this time I felt it needed to be done.
You may have noticed that I have called our daughter M. I did that on purpose for I am big fan of James Bond series and Judy Dench’s portrayal of the head of MI6. Also I am concerned about her name appearing freely on the internet (for that reason I am also going to do the same with all children – and adults should they wish so – that I might to write about).
So this is it.